I had three of my first time today. The first time i had heart-to-heart talk with bro(until i cried in front of him). The first time i hugged mommy and told her i love her. The first time i cried on the mrt alone when i was on my way to work. Terrible me.
Ytd night was the worst ever ever. I felt the pain, what it is really feels like to be heartbroken.
Im so scared to make any decisions now, decisions that may change my life, affecting my two dearest and most beloved. I know once i made my choice, from then on i can't have any regrets. Is either you'll no longer be my bf, or i lose mommy's love, trust and support. What am i suppose to do, who am i suppose to choose when i love you both equally.
I know no one's advice is going to help cause everything lies on me, i have to choose one that goes with my feelings. Brother, sometimes i think you're so cruel to tell me the truth and want me to accept the fact that mommy doesn't want me to be together with ty. I tried running away from this problem for nearly three years, all i did is to drag and drag, unwilling to face it and praying hard that someday, mommy will eventually accept ty. Why must you encourage me to solve it now. Im very scared, im very lost and all i can do now is to cry and cry. Im so caught in the middle. I don't want to lose such a good bf when i think i can never find a second one like him but neither do i want to lose mommy, someone who owe our lives to, who never fails to take care of me.
Whoever i choose, im bound to disappoint the other. But for every decisions i make, i hope you know that im being forced to.
I love you,
thats why i really can't let go of you.
Even when you said you're willing to let me go because you love me too much, my heart bleeds.
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There are eight TUNAs&JUANs :DDidn't get to visit Kimwee today cause he alr discharged. So i spent the whole day with tuna. Got my t-bar from charles & keith. Spent most of our money on food, food always come to me themselves. I had two piece chicken meal for three days alr.
I seriously want to join gojane spree cause they have very pretty and cheap rhinestone t-bar but all are capped. Vian wants too.
Back to work tmr till next monday.
Work doesn't seems like work today cause tuna was there the whole day!
I reached at 11.15(purposely went late), tuna reached at 12plus after his exam, i passed him my laptop so he can play while waiting. The advante supplier came after that, so i talked to him till 1.30. Lunch break from then till 3. Went back talked to Adi, crapped with Janna, played those highly addictive games in N80 and my dinner break continued from 5 to 6.30. I happily went home at 8 though im supposed to work till 9pm. HAHAHA, does that sounds like work to you? But they told me promoter job equals to slacking. True.
Saw that pair of fred perry pumps at tangs today. It cost a freaking $116.50 after discount.
It looks fabulous, though i don't think it'll still look that good under my smelly sweaty feet.
So, shall not buy cause my sweaty feet don't deserve such pricey shoes.
One more thing, today Adi told me the the ward that his dad is staying in and i realised its exactly the same as Kimwee's but two beds away from him. Oh my, the world is really so freaking damn small. Same hospital, same block, same level, same ward, same room, but of course different beds right?
Im happpppy cause i get to see both tuna & my beloved friends tmr.
I can't wait for tues to come. I have got so many things to do in that 24 hours. Cut away my bloody bangs (they rhythm), buy the same black havaianas with tuna, do some shopping, maybe movie too, visiting kimwee and more.
Work was fine. Except i don't know why i prefer to chat with aunties and uncles working there, instead of those who are ard my age group, maybe because 8/10 of them smoke. Im serious, so far i think only me and Adi don't. The pay is alr quite pathetic and i don't understand where the hell they still can find the money to buy and spend on ciggs. Siao.
If can i rather i skipped my meals so i can save even more. Although i don't love food, but food loves me. As if uh. What am i talking about hahaha.
Tmr is tuna's last paper and he's coming straight to town to have lunch with me, wait, have dinner with me, wait and then go home together with me. He's like the only man who doesn't have any activities after exams other than meeting his gf. How nice right? His real motive - to make me feel touched and shit, i really really do feel so.
Cause tonight, all of us are having the same thoughts and im so fuckingly jaded.
My Dear Friend.
Wanted to blog about this a few days ago, but i forgot again and again.
Daddy is one lucky man who always pick things in his cab. What is it this time round?
A N80 phone with GUCCI handphone strap attached to it! This time i didn't asked for the phone, instead i asked for the handphone strap. Although it looks abit old and rusty at the ring part but still can usable. Teeheehee.
Daddy said he nearly wanted to throw the strap away and only bring home the phone. Heng ahhhh he didn't.
But till now, bro didn't say he wants the phone, so maybe i can use it too. :D
Imagine i blog about this and the owner of the phone read it and come running after me. HAHAHA.
Being random, i think im quite pure & innocent. Cause with regards to edison's scandal, i never never never search or look for any of those pictures. Aiyah.
Slide up the phone, look through a whole list of 283 contacts, think for a moment, put it back inside my pocket. Seriously, i don't know who to contact at all when im bored. Friends? I have less than ten i think.
Talked to Adi for almost the whole of today. He's full of craps and happy-go-lucky for these few days that i know him. At first, he told me how his love story with his gf dragged from pri4 till he sec5 which is really funny. But today, he told me exactly how his life is, how he's coping and struggling with all those problems that we normal teenagers don't faced, then i know how saddening life can be, to live on and to survive isn't as easy as what we think. This is how unfair, bad circumstances fall on families that ain't doing well in the first place. I know i can't help him with anything, so all i did is nodding my head non-stop, and agreed with everything he said to me. In my heart, i really agreed with him, cause both of us somehow share the same thinking about life in some ways. He even told me he thought of dying when he was in sec1. I did feel so too. Having a second thought now, we were just too naive then to think it's the only way to solve all problems. Fyi, im just two days older than him and he said maybe that's why we can click.
Im going to talk to tuna about this later, he's still studying now and i've to wait for his phone call before going to bed.
Looking back, i blogged these during our two years anniversary.It has been two years & five months now.
But you never stop doing all these for me.
You STILL teach me how to be optimistic and think positively. Even if i failed to do smthg well, you STILL give me your support always.
You STILL sacrificed playing bball/soccer with your friends and accompany me to go shopping instead even though they are the ones who date you first.
You know that im uber lazy, so you STILL never ever let me carry my shopping bags no matter how light those items are.
When we eat at mac, i'll STILL be the one to start eating first while you'll STILL prepare and squeeze those sauces out for me before you yourself eat.
You're STILL a quiet boy(NO, you become cheeky alr!), you may not know how to express your feelings through words. But you STILL managed to say sweet things that touched my heart. And of course, all your actions STILL prove how much you love me.
Im not going to complain about anything today. Im getting use to life at taka there.
After reading vian's tag, i felt much better, much more motivated to work.
Yes, that's life. Everyone have to work for money unless you're that filthy rich ass on the street.
If im unhappy just because i worked for a few days, then what about those that have alr worked for years & years? Do you think they are happy working through day & night? When i asked myself all these questions, i don't feel that upset anymore.
In short, Nobody loves working but we can't do anything about it la.
Im growing up each and every day. Or rather, i want to.
So finally i get a break from work tmr. I feel like staying at home to sleep my ass off. But i need to spend some good time with dear. See tmr's date and you'll know why. Yah.
Lastly, Happy Birthday to KHOOBINGCHAO!
I'll help you make a display picture that is as nice as mine since its like the first time you ever praise smthg that i did haha.
But not when i have to stone for ten hours at taka household department.
:(
I only make friends with aunties and uncles.
All the others there seems to hate me.
I cant believe i have to work until the start of march.
It's so depressing that i cried on both nights before i went to bed.
Everyday stone and stone.
Omfg.
Lilies Lilies Lilies





HAHA see how hungry the boy is

This is the $3 fries with lousy chili :(



All plants fascinate meeee hoho.


Remember you asked me before "What is love to me?" and i gave you many many different definitions. At last, i settled with one saying that "You'll do those things for him that you wont do the same for the others." Right now, i want to tell you that i won't make any vday present or card for anyone else anymore. Baby, you get what i mean? :)I love you cause you're the first to love me so dearly.
Im desperately looking for jobs now to put an end to mom's nagging. Tell you, its non-stop & she will rant at whatever im doing.
Every time when i wake up, "Every morning also sleep until so late, can't help me to do anything one"
Every time when i go online, "Everyday i see you do nothing except play computer, can't you find other things to do?"
Every time when i want to go out, "Go out go out, go out don't need money one meh? Stay at home and help me do things la."
You see you see, every nagging will end with a sentence saying a should stay at home to help her do housework. Omg, does all mumsy who're housewife likes to say that? I admit im not contributing much to the family, all i did at home is really sleep till late morning, eat, online, tv.
Thats all you know hahaha.
Tmr is Vday & i havent prepared any present for tuna. Im a lousy gf who doesn't even bother to search for presents when im so free hanging ard everyday. While on the other hand, i asked for presents and surprise from my bf who is busying mugging for his coming exams. How mean can i be? Hahaha but, i doubt my dear boy has got time to do so. So, even if i doesn't get anything from him tmr, its alright then. Anyway its our third Vday together alr, it doesn't really matter that much.
Worse still, i have a job training tmr.
I won $16 over at counsin's house ytd, enough to buy me a new tee online. I talked to TY for hours these two nights and i felt its time for me to grow up. Learning how to save money is much more difficult than knowing how to spend. I have spent hard over these years, buying clothes when i know i alr have got enough to wear, buying those stuffs when i dont even need them & buying the same-old-kind of clothes in all five different colours. What's the point?
I want to lead a uber good life next time. I don't want to live in small houses and worry about my meals. So, i got to make an effort to know how to save up. Now, every little dollar and cents counts. I know they can make a difference in the number of zeros in my bank account. I shall make a point here that i wont go for hard-core shopping so often. I would rather think of how to earn money from my online business :D
I know daddy is working very hard to make ends meet and how can i do nothing here?
First priority now is to earn money.
Going to meet up two buyers at kovan soon. TY is going with me.
With dear, KungFu Dunk was very enjoyable(because i love jay!). Its our first movie this year. Haha, our last movie was caught in aug last year la. I know, laugh laugh laugh.
I went home with my house fulled of relatives, and im starting to get bored over cny. Oh dear, there are still many visitings going on this weekend like some long-distance relatives' houses, mommy&daddy's friends etc. I shall come up with some excuses to miss all.
MY ANG BAO MONEY SHRINKED ALOT THIS YEAR :(
byebye
YAYY! Cny is so wonderful! This is the only time i can pissed my mommy off badly and she can't scold me haha. I sound so mean.
2. HUAT AHH!
3.
4.
5. Lovey Dovey Couple
6. Like Mother, Like Daughter
7. Daddy never likes to smile
8. The sweet lil thing that you can't missed, Manfred!
9. Cousin Lim
10. Daddy,"Do smthg graceful la." Okay, so i did smthg so odd:(
11. HAPPY LIM FAMILY! :D

& chase the pig away.
Happy Cny yayy! My happy mood is back again now. I was still complaining to TY this afternoon that cny eve seems boring, staying at home and watching mommy getting busy over the preparation of reunion dinner while i contributed nothing at all haha. I was sitting in front of the tvee since this morning.
The reunion dinner was a feast with my family of four. Mommy home-cooked dishes filled with love & efforts plus my favourite sharks' fins soup.
The whole LIM FAMILY is in red now. yippiee. HUAT AHHH! :D
Tmr will be a long day for us. We've got at least six different places to visit. My relatives live all over singapore from the east to far west. Prolly will be home by only midnight.
Pictures will be up soon!
I received my OH-SO-CUTE david&goliath wallet alr. The seller is so efficient man. I love it cause its in the shape of an underwear(okay, its like a brief LOL) and i got it cheaply. Im going to use it to keep my ang-baos. ohhhh, im so in love with it la. Even mommy loves it and she asked if there's a shape in bra or not? hahaha

Valentine's day is coming soon. Thinking about what to give to UNCLE LIM is a big headache. Would you like a hand-made present filled with all my love? We've plan to celebrate at Botanical Gardens. And Uncle lim is so efficient that he alr did his research ytd on "How To Travel To Botanical Gardens From Sengkang?"
love love love you!(SEE THIS?) :D
Town-ed with the girls ytd and surprisingly, we didnt get anything cause non of us were in the right shopping mood. The weather is so bad so we were trapped for hours at fep and then, i wasnt feeling well alr. We headed home before evening. I was down with quite a high fever, ate medicine & i slept through the whole night. But i still love ytd with the girls and my nicely plaited hair by sj, cause i dont know how to do it myself. haha
Went to get medicine just now with TY & met up with my buyer. Heh, the $8 vintage bag that i got, i sold it off at $20. Yayy! I earned quite some bucks this week! I don't know how to spend the rest of my holidays. Maybe i should start looking for jobs alr, but im just plain too lazy.
ohhhhh! i got thin legs in that photo ahahaha!
i love all my short-hair besties! i love hazel's hair. STEAL STEAL.
I get upset over little things easily. Like now, i misplaced my $5 note somewhere at home & i can't seems to find it anywhere. I feel grumpy now because i realised half of the cny clothes i got online don't fit me well, my waisted belt can't stay under my boobs there even though i requested the sales person to punch three more holes all the way till the end. Okay, i believed im thin now, maybe very thin? Though im going town with the girls tmr, i doubt i can find those that i really love since i bought nothing when i went there with ty on thurs. Where to find fab-looking clothes at this very last minute? you this picky choosy brat :(
list of things i did:
1. met up with color & lunched at suski sushi
2. cleared my friendster photos
3. blog hopped
4. looked through all the online shops at livejournal
5. packed my wardrobe
6. updated my acct book
7. mailed out those parcels to my buyers
8. channel switching
9. played silly online games
10. talked to dear
WHAT ELSE IS THERE FOR ME TO DO?
Anyway, i spent $50 over there. Bought table lamp, boxes, mirror, candles and more. I have revamped my room & it feels so huijuan now. Nice, neat & cosy. Yayy!
i wish i could bring the whole ikea home. i want to go there again after cny.

oh dear, im becoming more and more like an auntie.




